today

I’m exhausted. Probably because I stayed up until 1:00 am watching the Oscars and I am not sure why. It was kind of a let down. Boring. And I was disappointed! I liked Birdman but I didn’t want it to win. My heart was with Boyhood and my predictions were weak: 16/24. At least Eddie won.

Do you ever get to a point when you realize something’s gotta give?

I’ve been struggling with a big work change… Last Fall was slow and it lead me to take on a year-long position which is kind of crazy. I am juggling this with freelancing because the job is not permanent and come next November, I don’t want to be complexly screwed but it means I am working most evenings and going back and forth between home and their office. I’m also trying to squeeze in three posts a week and keep up with family time, friend time, bookclub, FNPN, fitness and fun. Oh and cooking and keeping the house clean.

Yah, about that last thing… From a quick glance, our house is usually pretty tidy. Naturally I’ve never had a problem fighting clutter and hate when things are out of place but please don’t run your finger along the mantel. Dust! The fridge is dirty and in full disclosure, the bathrooms haven’t been cleaned in weeks. It’s a disaster but we really don’t care. Actually, I do care, I just can’t muster the energy to fix it.

I want to hire a housekeeper. You know, the one that comes twice a month and does a deep clean leaving you with just the basic day-to-day chores, It has been on my mind but I was feeling guilty about it. There are only three of us (plus a dog) and our house is not huge but then I read this on Friday and I wanted to cry because it was exactly how I was feeling… Right down to the homemade Valentines:

Last week, I had a conversation with an acquaintance on Facebook over her frustration of seeing so many handmade Valentine’s Day cards that moms were making for their kids’ classmates at school. She wondered how they had time to do that on top of everything else, and she felt it would make her look lazy if she just bought some simple cards at a store instead. I couldn’t help but feel like I was one of those moms she was referencing as I had just posted a photo of the cards I helped Ruby make for her class. I had to respond to her to remind her she wasn’t being lazy and also to tell her something really important…

No one is doing it all, and we are all “lazy” in some way. It just depends on what you care to spend your time on and what you don’t. You can ask my husband when’s the last time I made a homemade dinner. We get take-out or delivery more than I care to admit because after waking up at 6:30am, getting two kids up and fed, dropping one off a school, working a full day at the studio, and then trying to be home at a reasonable time to nurse my baby so that I don’t have to pump yet another bottle of milk…whipping up dinner from scratch every night is just not something I want to do.

Believe me, I feel guilty about my lack of cooking all the time. As women, we feel insecure for the things we don’t do or cannot do, but we need to start feeling secure about the things we’re really good at. I like helping my kid make cards because I’m a designer and that’s what I do for a living—I make things and I’m pretty damn good at it.

I hope you all have a great weekend not doing it all but, instead, just doing the things that matter most to you!

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I read this a realized something’s gotta give. How about you – is there something you struggle with? Am I completely nuts in thinking I need this luxury in my life? you-can-do-anything-listing-2_1024x1024

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