10 words i’m not fine with

We can all agree that the worst word ever is panty, right? Especially when said by a man. Panty, panties, pantyhose, pantyliner, etc., they’re all terrible words that should not exist. Either wear underwear or wear nothing at all. Do not wear panties.

Here are 10 more words I can’t handle:

  1. FINE: Fine thanks, you? No one should ever aspire to be fine. It’s like no wall wants to be beige.
  2. FEBRUARY: Nothing against Pisces, I just think the spelling is problematic. What’s up with that R? Do we need it?
  3. STEW: Both the noun (I hate chunky soup (also see #10)) and the action. Do not stew on anything, make a damn decision.
  4. MOIST: I never liked the band because the word makes me uncomfortable. Sorry Erin Mac, I know you were a fan.
  1. FART: hate hate hate hate hate. Hate.
  2. BRAIN FART: Is this even related to a FART? Not only does it NOT make sense, but it’s also gross.
  3. A’INT: He ain’t heavy… he is NOT heavy.
  4. ARSE: Bums are soft and cushiony which is why the hard ARRRRR in arse doesn’t work for me.
  5. SPECIFIC: Is there a word more complicated to say on the first try?
  6. CHOWDER: Especially fish chowder. Creamy + chunky + cut up fish. I just can’t. That said, I put on my big girl panties and tried a bread bowl this winter. It was fine, but I felt like I was going against all of my moral values.

Honorable mention: CBC’s pronunciation of Shhhhedule, Shhhocial Shtudies, etc. Do you think it makes you sound more pretentious? Because it doesn’t.

There are more. So many more, but let’s not stew on this for any longer.

10 things i am not sure of

So this is embarrassing.

Are you too one of those people who hasn’t bothered to figure things out… We’re not talking evolution or rocket science, more like how does a thermos know what to do (hot/cold)?

Let’s take a minute to think about the 10 things we really don’t get. Here are mine:

  1. Stem cells. What the heck are these and what’s the research all about?
  2. Amazon. I am all about online shopping but I really don’t understand Amazon. Why are my coffee filters $50? Why is shipping so much? The prices are all over the place and don’t even get me started on Prime.
  3. Are the fiddle and violin the same thing? Growing up on the East Coast makes me think they’re totally different instruments – you play a fiddle in the kitchen and the violin is played in a concert hall. BUT ARE THEY THE SAME THING!!?!?
  4. Algebra. Have I done this? High school was foggy. I have no clue what algerbra is but it sounds hard.
  5. Everything to do with banking and taxes. Everything.
  6. Action movies. Just me, or is the plot always complicated. Please don’t ask me to summarize Deadpool, The Matrix or Mad Max.
  7. The fax machine. Of all the technology, it’s the coolest. Right? HOW DOES IT WORK! Don’t even get me started on how stressful printers are – everytime I press command+P I say a little prayer that things will work out.
  8. Grammar (not specific to English): I blame French immersion for this one but really it’s my own fault that I’ve gone this far without a solid understanding of sentence structure. Also, when do you say learnt, ever?
  9. The Cloud. Does anyone understand the cloud? Where the heck are all my photos?
  10. Nutrition. For the amount of running I do, you’d think I’d figure out if I’m getting enough protein (I’m not) and what’s a carbohydrate? I am pretty sure it’s not just bread. Should I eat chicken or am I doing okay?

Share your answers! Better yet, please share the things you don’t get!

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(images)

10 things january

Hello mid-January. How’s everyone doing?

Here are 10 things that are on my mind right now. Feel free to weigh in.

  1. What’s Bitcoin? Should I take the time to learn or, like Snapchat, should I not bother?
  2. Should I eat poultry again? I’m liking the idea of a Sunday roasted chicken = weekday sandwiches.
  3. Prioritizing Rest & Reflectionthis was a good listen.
  4. Wonder. Watch this movie with your kid.
  5. Bulleting. Seeing this makes me really want to find time to work on my journal!
  6. Do I need to go to the Black Forest to buy my cuckoo clock or will anywhere in Germany suffice?
  7. City or country? Sarah has me questioning country life but, that house is seriously bonkers.
  8. Can I mentally and physically run the Bluenose full marathon? Kilometers 36-39 are in my neighbourhood and that’s just wrong.
  9. Aziz. Reading about this has been hard. What do you think? (this and this)
  10. What will be my February goal? January is +10,000 steps a day.

Illustration by Evgenia Makarova

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10 things to discuss over christmas dinner

Merry Christmas! Here are 10 things to talk about tomorrow:

  1. O Holy Night. Who sings it better? Anne Murray or Mariah Carey
  2. Fake or real? I’m talking about the Christmas tree guys.
  3. Multi-coloured or white lights. Who does it better?
  4. Does Santa wrap his presents?
  5. Home Alone: 1, 2 or 3?
  6. Eggnog… does anyone actually like it?
  7. Jo, why not Teddy!!!

    (and I JUST learned there is a new Little Women mini-series! Sarah, grab the mulled wine, Ethan and Uma’s daughter is Jo).
  8. Holiday cards – still relevant in 2017? (I mailed 75 this year)
  9. When I say Boxing Day, you say: What? / World Juniors! / Levee it up!
  10. News to me, Santa’s reindeer are female.

    Obviously. The job gets done.

Merry Christmas!

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fallish intentions

10 things I intend to do this season

  1. Finish The Office: I am on S5:E5, so I feel good about completing this one.
  2. Finish my office: The plan was to have my new office space ready for September which did not happen. I’m now aiming for Christmas – gas fireplace and all!
  3. Learn to enjoy red wine again: I took a break from it over the summer after a poor decision (don’t buy cheap American wine, don’t get the flu)
  4. But also… Complete the Whole 30 #Whole30November: I am building a team. We can do this. Who’s in?
  5. Bangs, do it! Why not? How bad can it be?
  6. Get back into daily planking: Fun fact, side planking is good for scoliosis. I have a rod so I don’t think it matters but, I am sure planking has other benefits.
  7. Design print and distribute my calendars before mid-December: Another summer goal that got bumped. Question, should I repeat the Hello theme but with new imagery?
  8. Make use of my Canada Games Centre membership and SWIM! Seriously, David is in the pool three days a week… I need to take advantage of this time.
  9. Pottery, photography, and paint: I have already started my 10-week pottery class and have made a few fun things including a deformed cat dish for my non-existent cat. There’s an online photography course I’d like to enroll in and painting is part of my office update.
  10. Choose a fall uniform: See photo above.

Tell me your goals.

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