I’m exhausted. Probably because I stayed up until 1:00 am watching the Oscars and I am not sure why. It was kind of a let down. Boring. And I was disappointed! I liked Birdman but I didn’t want it to win. My heart was with Boyhood and my predictions were weak: 16/24. At least Eddie won.
Do you ever get to a point when you realize something’s gotta give?
I’ve been struggling with a big work change… Last Fall was slow and it lead me to take on a year-long position which is kind of crazy. I am juggling this with freelancing because the job is not permanent and come next November, I don’t want to be complexly screwed but it means I am working most evenings and going back and forth between home and their office. I’m also trying to squeeze in three posts a week and keep up with family time, friend time, bookclub, FNPN, fitness and fun. Oh and cooking and keeping the house clean.
Yah, about that last thing… From a quick glance, our house is usually pretty tidy. Naturally I’ve never had a problem fighting clutter and hate when things are out of place but please don’t run your finger along the mantel. Dust! The fridge is dirty and in full disclosure, the bathrooms haven’t been cleaned in weeks. It’s a disaster but we really don’t care. Actually, I do care, I just can’t muster the energy to fix it.
I want to hire a housekeeper. You know, the one that comes twice a month and does a deep clean leaving you with just the basic day-to-day chores, It has been on my mind but I was feeling guilty about it. There are only three of us (plus a dog) and our house is not huge but then I read this on Friday and I wanted to cry because it was exactly how I was feeling… Right down to the homemade Valentines:
Last week, I had a conversation with an acquaintance on Facebook over her frustration of seeing so many handmade Valentine’s Day cards that moms were making for their kids’ classmates at school. She wondered how they had time to do that on top of everything else, and she felt it would make her look lazy if she just bought some simple cards at a store instead. I couldn’t help but feel like I was one of those moms she was referencing as I had just posted a photo of the cards I helped Ruby make for her class. I had to respond to her to remind her she wasn’t being lazy and also to tell her something really important…
No one is doing it all, and we are all “lazy” in some way. It just depends on what you care to spend your time on and what you don’t. You can ask my husband when’s the last time I made a homemade dinner. We get take-out or delivery more than I care to admit because after waking up at 6:30am, getting two kids up and fed, dropping one off a school, working a full day at the studio, and then trying to be home at a reasonable time to nurse my baby so that I don’t have to pump yet another bottle of milk…whipping up dinner from scratch every night is just not something I want to do.
Believe me, I feel guilty about my lack of cooking all the time. As women, we feel insecure for the things we don’t do or cannot do, but we need to start feeling secure about the things we’re really good at. I like helping my kid make cards because I’m a designer and that’s what I do for a living—I make things and I’m pretty damn good at it.
I hope you all have a great weekend not doing it all but, instead, just doing the things that matter most to you!
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I read this a realized something’s gotta give. How about you – is there something you struggle with? Am I completely nuts in thinking I need this luxury in my life? 
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Oh, I feel you on this one. Get a housekeeper! If I was back at work full-time, we would have a cleaner, hands down. Matt and I both agree on that one. I honestly don’t know how some people seem to “do it all” and that’s just thing. They don’t. NO one does. And something does have to give! I find it such a struggle too, and I look around and feel like I’m not even as busy as some others. I can never get the balance right. If having a cleaner helps you work two jobs and blog and spend time with friends, and family and yourself and organize all the awesome things you do, then so be it. I wouldn’t even consider it a luxury. Sure, if you didn’t work and lounged around all day, it would be a luxury. But you’re busy with other, more important priorities. Nothing to be guilty over. Your home is on point – so stylish and chic and the fact you manage to keep it clutter free is a triumph! A little dust won’t bother anyone. And if it bothers you, then you’ve totally earned the right to a guilt-free housekeeper!
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It takes great comfort in hearing all of the pros to hiring a housekeeper… would it be too much to add chef and assistant to the list? Retirement seems like the best solution.
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Love your blog Meg. I used to think hiring a housekeeper was some thing only yuppies or rich people did but then i thought about how much time i actually spend cleaning house a week, usually a couple of hours on the weekend scrubbing and vacuuming. Weigh that against how valuable is your time is, especially your free, non work time. I think is reasonable to want somebody to come in and do a deep clean a couple of times a month. Next time I live in a house I know i will consider it! Keep up the hard work 🙂
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Thank you Kathleen! I agree totally. I thought the same and have realized the same.
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Think of it this way – people don’t have either the time or the skill to design cards/invitations/weddings, so they hire you. People don’t have either the time or the skill to research medical decisions or medications, so they ask me. Everybody hires out for jobs they either can’t do or don’t have the time to do. You won’t look back at this time when you’re older and think “wow, I’m so glad I spent all that time dusting and keeping the bathroom clean”. You’ll remember vacations, hanging out with friends, etc. You’re working two jobs and you have a child. If you can afford and you want to, hire it out. If you love it, great. If not, end it. Or maybe you’ll just do it until your contract job is done and you have some more free time. But either way, do whatever gives you guys a happier day-to-day life. Who cares what anyone else thinks. I won’t judge. 🙂
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thanks! good points. I am feeling less guilty
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When I got together with Shimon, I told him I couldn’t cope with ironing his shirts (all cotton, and many many tuxedo shirts with the little pleats since he needs them for concerts). His solution was to hire a “Polish lady” who did our ironing, which he happily paid for. Eventually she started doing some housecleaning, and it settled into a routine of one week ironing, one week cleaning. One “Polish lady” was replaced by another, who passed the job on to a third one. Our last lady was not young, but she was always on hand and I totally relied on her. One day she came and announced “Mrs. Peggy I am too old for this,” and that was it. We thought we would manage ok, Hannah is away at school now, we’d save money and just lower our standards – let me tell you, it’s worth every cent! I miss my Polish ladies so much….and the ironing piles up and up, the bathroom doesn’t get clean, but, I’ve learned to live with it. Don’t beat yourself up. We all struggle to do our best, and the things you do for fun or of necessity with your family have to take priority to homemade Valentines. We are so hard on ourselves as women. We have to be our own champions! Try not to look at the dust, remember you are working hard, and there are no superwomen, only women and men trying to do the best they can. You are not alone!
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Peggy! The “Oh Joy” post almost made me cry… Your comments made me cry, thank you. So lovely. So encouraging to hear. xo
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